Wednesday, May 29, 2013

hello Law school

Hi Guys,

a little update on my experience as a law student:

My first semester of law school was really busy and tough. There was so much reading (like 100 pgs a day), hectic schedule, and tough subjects to digest that I sometimes wanted to run away to a hidden place and watch grey's anatomy for hours!
Also! the whole system was based on a set bell curve that only certain people were able to get As, Bs, Cs, and so on... It was so cut throat and competitive.... Like putting whole bunch of pigs into a tiny little cage..

But the positive side of my law school was DEFINITELY the people. Yes, the environment and the system should make people all crazy and mean, but Chapman Law was different.
I absolutely loved all my professors, career center staffs, academic counselors, librarians, and mostly importantly, I loved and still love all my fellow class mates. Seriously, without them, I would not have enjoyed law school all that much..
On top of the people, I actually enjoyed learning about law, and I guess if you do something that you are passionate about, work becomes joyful?

So my first semester was good overall! Until.. the grades finally came out.
Although I didn't do horribly, (as a nerd) I didn't do as much as I wanted to do. But the worst part of it all was that I started to look down on myself and compare myself to others.
I began to think that I wasn't good enough to become a lawyer, and that people are gonna think that I was dumb.

I started to notice that the horrible system that law school had was actually getting to me. ME! the girl who went into law school to help others, to glorify God, and to not care about grades, because I know that God is in control! Yes, That girl got totally sucked into the whole competitively dark place...

I knew that numbers don't define who I am and what I will become, but I couldn't help but to drown myself into the deep dark sea of depression, regrets, resentment, jealousy, and all that bad stuff... I started to see myself not as who I truly am but what the world says I should be: 4.0 student.

However, God reminded me who I am: child of God, follower of Christ. In the end, I once again had to put myself down and realize that regardless of my grades and efforts, God's WILL will be done.


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