Saturday, June 22, 2013

Running Shoes

I have been having the hardest time working out. I am so lazy! (<-- this is me being honest...)

I tell myself daily that I'm going to work out, but I catch myself creating excuses not to work out. For ex: too tired from work, don't feel good, too hungry, ankle hurts, foot hurts... blah blah blah.

Physically, I really really REALLY do want to work out and run because I know that the result will be great! But... Mentally... I can't get myself to do it, because I'm scared of the pain t.

This made me look back on my spiritual life. I know that the end result of serving the Lord wholeheartedly would place treasures in heaven, but I serve him halfheartedly most of the time because I fear the temporary pain. I always thought that I had my life together and that I was strong. As the oldest of four in an immigrant family, I HAD to get my life together (or make it seem like I did...)

I always knew in my head that I was nothing, that I was "weak," so without Christ, I can't do anything. But yet, I saw myself trying to take control of absolutely EVERYTHING! (law school, relationship, food, clothes, hair, and.. you get the point.)
But I got to understand that I was weak and that I was nothing compared to our heavenly father in my heart. I don't know if it's the age (24) or my first year of law school experience that helped me to understand this, but I understood this or I understand this now.

I have been learning to fully trust in God and to let go of my own "righteousness," "pride," and "self-centeredness".

I am broken but God has been repairing me. Hopefully, I will continue to be aligned with God and not stray away from him.. Because falling away from God really sucks.


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